


You Look Like A Woman

by Music_Feeds_My_Soul



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Aqun-athlok, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Surana is agender, Surana is tired of everyone, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 18:49:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6090646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Music_Feeds_My_Soul/pseuds/Music_Feeds_My_Soul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t understand. You look like a woman.” “Yeah, and you look like you’re a qunari- any other obvious observations?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Look Like A Woman

**Author's Note:**

> Mention of body dysphoria, transphobia, and a brief mention of suicidal thoughts.

“I don’t understand. You look like a woman.”

 “Yeah, and you look like you’re a qunari- any other obvious observations?” Sarah replies on reflex, eyes sharp as the mage glares at the tall qunari, who frowns down at the tiny elf with the hips and the chest. The loose cotton shirt doesn’t do much to hide the figure.

 Sarah doesn’t back down, glaring at the qunari, remembering the same question from the templars and the other mages as a child-  _“Are you a girl or boy?”_

 The answer had always been:  _“I’m a mage.”_ No one understood.

 “Are you a man or a woman?”

 “I’m a mage.” 

  When Sarah was five, mom was the one who had all the answers. She was kind, and thougtful. When the question was asked, she would shrug and say: “Sarah is Sarah.” before sending her child off.

 Then the magic came, and no one understood. 

 “I understand that.” Sten speaks, sounding annoyed. “But are you a man or a woman?”

 “Why does it matter?”

 Sarah often wondered about it. As a kid- no one cared. Sure, Sarah was the weird elf no one could tell what their body said. Sarah wore the child-sized robes. No one cared. 

  Puberty changed everything. Hips, breasts, the Maker damned courses… Everyone had an opinion about Sarah then.

_“You’re a woman Sarah, stop acting so childish!”_

_“Sarah, the Maker gave you a female body, stop acting so foolish.”_

_“Sarah, you are a woman.”_

  “You fight, so it stands that you cannot be a woman,” Sten replies, and Sarah shrugs.

 “Guess I’m not then- though that isn’t really the truth.” 

 It had been hard, the teenaged years had almost destroyed Sarah. The body that housed Sarah screamed, and sometimes Sarah just wanted to tear it apart, to get rid of everything wrong in it. Sometimes Sarah didn’t care, but it hurt, the body so wrong. 

  Everyone had an opinion during these years, and when people asked, they didn’t understand.

  _“Sarah, are you a boy inside your head?”_

_“No, I’m just a mage.”_

_“Sarah, I don’t understand… you’re a girl, why do you hate being called she?”_

_“Sarah, I don’t get it.”_

_“We can get rid of those demons controlling you, put you on the right path Sarah.”_

 Sarah nearly let it get to them. Sarah nearly broke, a weak shield. A too slow reflex.

 It could be easy. It could have been so simple.

 “Are you aqun-athlok?”

 “What?”

 “Are you born one gender, but living like another… that is the closest definition I can think of.”

 “No. I’m nothing.” It’s the bitter honest truth.

 But no one understood. No one got it. No one paid attention.

  _“Sarah, stop being so silly.”_

_“Sarah, stop being a child.”_

_“Sarah, you’re the prettiest girl here! Stop crying out for attention!”_

 Jowan didn’t get it, but he called Sarah they, and Sarah was… Sarah was so happy, they cried onto Jowan’s shoulder. 

 The First Enchanter didn’t get it either, but he agreed to Sarah’s demands though his air was that of a man humouring a child.

 It was those two that brought Sarah back from the brink. It was them who helped Sarah feel themself again.

 That was why Sarah pretended to buy Jowan’s lie. Why they had destroyed the phylactery. 

 Because of how Jowan saved them.

 “I see…” Sten says, nodding. “Do you wish to be she?”

 “…No, I am they.” 

 “Very well Warden.” Sten nods, and ends the conversation, leaving the mage bewildered and stunned, before a soft smile spreads across their face, hysterical giggles slipping out. 

 Sarah’s actions had saved their friend. And now, those actions saved Sarah.

 Because someone understood.


End file.
